![]() For the child treated to such abuse, it is death by a thousand cuts. Unlike the overt narcissist's obvious one-upmanship, the covert narcissist parent uses microaggressions cloaked as oversights, slips of the tongue, humor, help, or caring concern. By definition, the narcissistic personality is competitive, envious, and prone to hostile attacks. ![]() Children in this scenario struggle with the cognitive dissonance of what they are told about that parent versus how that parent actually behaves behind closed doors. Such a parent may be skilled at manipulating family members, such as an enabling partner or golden child, as well as people in that parent's social circle, to support his or her narrative. It is common for a covert narcissistic parent to cultivate an image in and beyond the family that he or she is caring, principled, devoted, and/or self-sacrificing while also targeting a scapegoated child as a negative foil. Covert narcissist parents rely on cultural assumptions to hide their abuse and neglect, and they gaslight their children about their behavior by leaning hard into their unimpeachable status as "loving" parents. Questioning a parent's love and loyalty flies in the face of conventional wisdom and forces us to reexamine our most fundamental beliefs about family. Society tells us in countless ways that all parents want the best for their children. How Covert Narcissist Parents Groom Children for Abuse
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